Yesterday was just another regular day as a stay-at-home-mom. Whenever my mother is around, I take full opportunity of trying to get everything done while she looks out for Daniel – facials, lasers, shopping etc. Mum is currently back home in Melaka. Which means, I am back to being a full time SAHM.
A lot of people take their mothers and wives for granted. More often than not, a woman’s role is to manage a home and have babies. Contrary to our modernise world and thinking, the position of a woman has not changed much over the years = a woman’s place is still in the kitchen etc.
Our local culture also puts a lot of emphasis on a role of a wife/mother. To tell you the truth, it annoys the shit out of me. A lot of women are now successful, driven and career minded. Some have made it a choice to be a SAHM but others are just living with the stigma that a career woman is selfish and not suitable to marry.
But a lot of people do not know how much work it is to be a SAHM. There are so many things to do and manage. A lot of SAHM have not been vocal about their lives but recently, reverse roles and some fathers had spoken out about what it takes to be a stay-at-home-parent. I’m very sure a lot of you have read blogs and stories about these, as well as successful parents who have given up everything to stay home and care for their family.
Being a SAHM (not entirely by choice) has taught me many things. For one, I will always honor moms and place high esteem in educated women who had chosen to stay home. Don’t get me wrong; I LOVE NOT WORKING but at the same time, I don’t like being confined to having just these responsibilities – especially when I’m not being appreciated.
Yesterday was just another typical day being home with Daniel. Yesterday I had no prior plans so it was a full day spent at home with my bebe. Here’s just a rundown of what happened:
7.30am – I woke up with a start, without an alarm. Geez… I only had roughly 6 hours of sleep. I washed up, changed to T-shirt & shorts and went to the kitchen. While I was mentally preparing what I wanted to have for breakfast, I put on the steriliser to prep Daniel’s milk bottles, refill the jug of boiled water, put on more water to boil in the kettle and washed whatever dishes that was left in the sink. I also wiped the table and counter tops.
I made Daniel’s milk for his morning feed (he hasn’t woken up) before tidying up the house a little bit. I also swept the living room and kitchen floor, then moped the kitchen. I remember checking on Daniel in between (because the husband is immune to his crying most of the time…) in case he had woken up and when he hasn’t, I went downstairs to sweep the other living room and collect the leaves on the porch.
Then, I made my oats for breakfast and cut up the papaya and rock melon.
8.33am – I remember the time exactly because I took a photo of breakfast! While I was having breakfast, I was surfing the net for information on buses/trains and car rentals in UK for my November graduation trip.
9.30am – Daniel woke up and the husband was getting ready to go out. Got the bebe to chase me around the room a bit while I made the beds, swept the room and mopped the floor.
9.46am – Daniel was having some papayas for breakfast while I continued searching for information on the net. Got him to practice drinking from a plastic cup as well – before he upset the water on the chair and floor so I had to wipe it.
10.15am – Daniel was done with breakfast. I got BabyTV on for a bit so I can continue searching. At this point he was already taking out his toys and making a big racket in the living room. I just gotta ignore this otherwise I won’t be able to finish my homework and Aida would be annoyed!
11:17am – Some cartoon which huge eyes came on and Daniel was afraid so he came to me and clambered up the chair in speed of light! *holds on tight* For some reason, Daniel hates cartoons with huge big eyes blinking at him!
11.30am – Gave Daniel a bath. He also pee-ed on the floor while I got the water running… So after I changed him, I washed the bathroom floor and took a shower myself.
12.00 noon – I started making lunch (my soba!) around here.
12.40pm – Heated up Daniel’s porridge and sat him down for lunch.
1.13pm – I finally sat down for lunch and my son started climbing my chair to sit with me. He also brought his pillows with him and chuck it on the table! He climbed up from the other side on another chair and when I finally cleared the table, he went and baring on it instead… And if you notice, my dining table is not of the average height…
1.34pm – I put out Daniel’s mattress (time for a nap!) and sat down with him to watch Lilo & Stitch. I also started to write my blog post about the Hot Soba at this point. Daniel is just so clingy!
2.28pm – Nearly time for his nap! Daniel had another feeding around this time, as usual. He was also taking forever to fall asleep and had a mini meltdown God-knows-why. Probably doesn’t want to go to sleep. Oh, and he FINALLY pooped so that had to be sorted out…
3.35pm – FINALLY asleep. Managed to tidy a little, clean the dishes, marinated the beef for dinner.
4.30pm – I was trying to read but I kept dozing off so I took a nap instead.
5.00pm – Rudely awaken by my neighbour’s cat breaking and entering from my living room window. Ended up prepping the vegetables and potatoes for dinner instead.
5.30pm – Daniel woke up sometime around here and got another bottle of milk. Made him some toast with kaya and butter.
5.45pm – Started preparing dinner because the husband said he wanted to eat dinner early before tennis.
6.37pm – Had dinner. Tried to feed Daniel, who refused to eat much of my potatoes hahah! He was more keen in feeding me spinach…
After clearing up, I had to wash the floor outside. My kitchen sink tends to flow slowly from food particles stuck in the pipes. This is a crappy fault by the developers and a lot of us in the taman are faced with the same problem! I had to unblock the pipes and all the food particles came out and left a mess on the floor. Hence, why I had to wash it. I also mopped my kitchen – AGAIN hahaha.
I had some time to sit down: check Facebook, Instagram, emails, Whatsapp messages etc. No one has come to claim the cat at this point.
7.45pm – Bath time for Daniel!
8.00pm – I heard a very familiar sound and true enough, a dragonfly was trapped in my house. And I hate them! Husband tried to ‘mosquito spray’ it to death hahahahahaahahaha
Took some time before I actually got to changed Daniel into his pajamas (because we moved his changing table outside and this is another super long story…)
At this point, the house was in a total mess and I placed a few toys back for the hundredth time because the husband likes to step on them for some reason…
9pm++ – I sat down to finish the movie I was watching online, Rosehill (1997) and for a moment there Daniel was in the room with le hubby, then he came out and sat down to watch Rosehill with me, while trying to jam his fingers on my laptop…
10pm – I finally had a refreshing bath.
10.30pm – Daniel was still awake and had started to divert his attention to messing up a different area… *sigh* I shall just wait for him to fall asleep… The mess was still on the floor this morning when I woke up, le hubby had not helped me despite just sitting across from the teevo… #nolunchforyoutomorrow
11.00pm – Got him in the room, switch off all the lights, had his last feeding for the night. I tried sneaking in some time to read, write this blog post and did not go to bed until 12.
11.30pm – Daniel only feel asleep sometime around here I think…I wasn’t paying much attention.
12am – Zzzzzzzzzing….
Today… I woke up sometime around 8 because I heard Daniel got down from his bed and came to my side. Gave him his bottle and he went back to bed (as of 10am, both the males are still snoozing….) while I went to -where else- the kitchen to clean the mess le hubby left from last night.
An average person works 8 hours or more a day, sometimes bringing home work. Imagine a parent who not only works, but also has to come home to attend to the home and children. It’s no wonder sometimes children get neglected because there are so many responsibilities and priorities to juggle! I honestly look up to those who can balance everything well and raise useful humans.
Work is never ending and the life is very demanding! You’re constantly looking for something to do when the baby’s attention is diverted elsewhere or when they are napping/sleeping. To be honest, this is not even one of those days where I had to do the laundry (probably that’s gonna be tomorrow…) or clean more parts of the house!
Life as a SAHM (or stay-at-home-dad) is tough. It can take all 24 hours in a day. Give us some credit for what we do, will you?