One of the most common question I get after my divorce was:
How do you cope? How do you deal with loneliness? How do you remain so positive?
Essential Oils. Not bullshitting.
If you remember my previous post on what’s it like being divorced I mentioned two important things I need to remind you of. Firstly, I mentioned it is important to come into terms and accept God’s plans for you – Qadha & Qadar. Secondly, in point number 5 I mentioned the anxiety I faced.
I didn’t take this anxiety seriously, to be honest. In fact, I didn’t even noticed I had it. Having one of my honest-heart-to-heart seshs with my friend made me realise that anxiety became so ingrained in me. To the point that I will overanalyze, overthink and continuously wonder about something.
Because all that I can think about is: WHAT DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME.
Throughout my marriage, there were always times when I would say/post/write/Facebook/Instagram something and regardless of my niat, it could enraged someone. Or create envy. Or upset someone.
And every single time something like that happens, I am left defending myself because who else but me (and my Lord) knows my niat? Every single time I am left wondering what the hell is it this time?
This, is me anticipating outcomes. This is me suddenly mengelabah, going back to posts and blogs to check WHAT DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME. And this my friends, is my anxiety.
Truth be told, I made an anxiety blend using Young Living essential oils for Daniel. Earlier this year he seemed to have some sort of anxiety about going to school. I would sapu every morning before even leaving the house so the scent lingers for a bit. It helped and I found myself using it too. I love the scent, most definitely. Especially because of Vetiver and Vetiver is just…..so…..HOT. Aummm.
But I realised that it has this magnetic scent that keeps me wanting more of it. I kept applying because I love the woody-citrusy scent and I’m not sure if it’s just true love, or because the scent relaxes me.
How does it all work? One of the reasons I decided to dive deeper into the world of essential oils is because of the profound effects scent has on our brains. It is truly magic and amazing that even my human brains cannot comprehend sometimes.
I’ve found help in essential oils for so many issues – ESPECIALLY in coping with emotions when it came to my divorce and weight loss journey. I have complete faith in the abilities of these plant magic no doubt about that! The question is, are you game in giving it a shot yourself?
Let’s talk about oils for a minute. In this article by Dr. Axe, he highlighted on two of the oils in this blend. Lavender, as we are all acquainted with, is a calming oil. That’s why it is among the most effective oils out there to help us unwind and improve sleep.
It’s considered a nervous system restorative and helps with inner peace, sleep, restlessness, irritability, panic attacks, nervous stomach and general nervous tension. Dr Axe
Vetiver on the other hand has a very grounding, woody scent. I love it. Grounding oils somewhat help you stay level headed and firm on the ground, as though it is stabilising or reassuring. The epicentre of it all. Grounding oils like vetiver, cedarwood, frankincense helps you stay true to your decisions and connected to mother earth. Like its telling you: BEHAVE. DON’T LOSE YOURSELF. DON’T GO CRAZY.
A nervous system tonic, it decreases jitteriness and hypersensitivity and is also useful in panic attacks and shock. Dr Axe
The combination of these two oils with calming Cedarwood and Uplifting Lemon creates a stronger blend that may help with anxiety.
I myself find that just taking a whiff of the blend is enough to help me relax and feel better. Nowadays I find myself continuously applying the blend to my wrist and then deeply inhaling it while having positive thoughts of assurance running through my mind. Oh and just so you know, you can also sub lemon with something else that’s citrusy: like orange, lime, jade lemon or bergamot. Orange & cedarwood is an amazing combo!
I get triggered and anxious over so many things these days: I get anxious when someone I just got to know tries to touch me – even if it is just my hand. When someone I’ve been talking to stops speaking to me all of a sudden. Or someone I have been spending a lot of time with, detaches out of the blue. I’ll be thinking about the 1001 probabilities of if I’ve said or done something wrong, or something in my unapologetic self did without realising. IT KILLS ME EVERY TIME.
How to make the anxiety blend?
Here’s what you need:
- 10 drops each of Cedarwood, Vetiver, Lavender & Lemon essential oil
- Roller bottle 8ml or 10ml
- Carrier Oil (I used Young Living’s V6 Vegetable Oil Complex)
I never quite knew how anxiety really held me back from doing many things. Breaking out of this shell is hard. It’s our body’s natural defensive mechanism against hurt.
Despite the fact I’ve got essential oils, I still have so many emotional blockages preventing me from embracing life, that’s holding me back from even tasting sweetness again: the joy of being in love or trusting someone to hold your hands or just snuggle up beside you on the couch watching Game of Thrones. Ahhhh that feeling…
So truly, my answer would be – Inshallah, essential oils can help you cope. For now. We try, but the rest we leave to God.
But the best way to cope with a breakup is……FIND A NEW LOVER! #tiber
P.S.: Follow @thedailydiffuse on Instagram for more on my essential oil journey!